My daughter was tidying her room (pit)
And said there was a spider,
I assumed that it was a small, but scary one, so I got the hoover & tube out
Went it, had the tube extended, daughters finger on the on/off button,
Asked where it was
"There" she said, "under there.."
I looked, and saw a leg, that looked ALOT bigger than she'd intimated,
"Be brave Daddy, be Brave!"
Then.. I Said to her,
"When I say, press the button!"
She turned the hoover on,
Then I saw it..
It.. was.. the size.. of a BUS!!
She turned off the hoover and ran.. RAN!!
My own daughter abandoned me and I was defenceless!
I SWEAR TO GOD, it pushed a bedroom cupboard over (nearly) and am sure the house leaned to one side!!!
I SHIT YOU NOT... it was like a fireman's hose thrashing around until it stopped...
And now I throw the hoover out the window, and buy a new one!