Monday, March 19, 2012

Your M&S - Not Mine....

Tore the arm out of my favourite shirt today, I would say that it was during a "Hulk" moment, but.... It wasn't...

ANYWAY...

Decided I'd take the 4yr old to M&S tonight as an 'adventure' to get a replacement...
(THAT won't happen again!)



While I was briefly looking at (then Rapidly diverting past) the nice looking suits with nice looking prices (that had the most uncomfortable reaction of making my "Back-door" Slam Shut like a Scotsmans wallet) she kept appearing with even more expensive looking ties that apparently she seemed to think would be much more attractive to me if she pretended they were a dog lead and dragged them around the store...

"Holeeee Shit!" The look I got from the Sales assistants made me feel like I'd just walked in with a bus load of Pikeys on a 'GROUPON' Fuelled Shopping Trip!

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Back to the Future

So...

Me & the Missus are watching TV for the first time this weekend, Uninterrupted. We've done the 'Parent thing' all weekend, Yada Yada Yada...
(they're back under the stairs where they belong, like Harry Potter)

They've been "Can I have?  I want!  Gimme!" all weekend and finally I cracked..
I've decided it's all the wife's fault, so I says to her:

"Remember that memorable day BEFORE the kids... BEFORE we were married, BEFORE we were Engaged, BEFORE we lived together....? where I said to you 'that I'd be late home and if you wanted go to mine before I got home then HERE was a front door key' I got into my car, blew a kiss And drove off, to work..?"

She put her phone down, uttered "Yesssss?" and frowned at me...

I had a quick glance at my route of escape from my couch to the door.. Yep I could definitely make it out before she could get to me..

"Well... 'love'... Picture this 'alternate' scenario..."

"....I just drive off!"

(this post would have been longer, but I'm finding it hard to type with the tip of my nose while sucking up my dinner through a straw!)


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