Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Dentist The Handcuffs & The Breasts...

Ok, I know your all dying to know the story behind my “teaser” of yesterday, so here it is…..
Wadd’ya get if you cross:
• A Dentist surgery,
• A Large Black Man,
• Shiny hand-cuffs
• and a Pair of breasts…?
I went back to dentist yesterday with the on-going saga of the new crown, that just aint a happy bunny.
Was sat in the reception, which isn’t big, but then a giant of a man came in with 2 other peoples, someone very official looking and a woman.
The man was a VERY big black man, dressed in very fancy ‘American’ style tracksuit, hoody, with an ipod (and something I hadn’t seen at the time, but I’ll tell u in a minute), they approached the reception desk, and the large man (who WAS American as it happens) said “You have a m*ther f*cking appointment for me!” at which point his ‘guests’ went mental at him and told him to “Si’down!”
(I may have pumped a little at this point!)
Luckily he didn’t sit next to me, but they then got ushered into one of the other rooms quite quickly, now… me being “Sherlock Holmes younger brother” should have sussed at this point, but he wasn’t in that room long before he came back out and was ‘forcefully’ plonked down…. NEXT TO ME!
It was this point I noticed the shiny hand-cuffs (I definitely pumped a little at this point & may even have touched cloth)
Me having the vivid imagination that I do, had visions this bloke (obviously not a Vicar… was actually a convict) and that he was gonna probably kill and eat everyone in the Dentists, turn to me, say “You got a pretty mouth” and I’d end up having rectal reconstruction surgery (not that I think I have enough skin to graft into what would surely be a VERY LARGE void between my butt-cheeks!)
Thankfully I got called through to the other room at this point, and before the lady had finished my name “Mar…k” I was in the room, sat down and had started drilling my own teeth! (well.. if I’m gonna go, I’m bloody well doing it myself albeit, I think suicide with a dentist’s drill would take an awfully long time?)
Ok, much-ado-about-nothing, the dentist reminded me many times how grateful I should be about her seeing me for the 6th. Time in about 3 weeks, cos she’d very busy and has a very important meeting in about half an hour in St. Helens (in fact, I didn’t really hear most of this, I was still wondering how I would block out the sexual-assault I was sure to be subjected to back in reception) anyway, long story short, the ‘temporary’ appointment over, the dentist finished with me, sat me up and said “see you next week, gotta go, very important meeting to go to” but…. Before I left the room (which obviously I wasn’t in too much of a rush to get out of) the dentist (have I said she’s a woman?) Whipped open her ‘Dentists’ top, gown, to reveal (in the short look I was forced to have obviously) a very petite Basque, just about holding in VERY LARGE BREASTS
Well… bugger me!! (I thought – quite ironic if you think about it) and was ushered out of the room, so she could finish dressing…..
Thankfully the large convict had now vacated, had he seen me in my state of…. Well…. Arousal, I suspect the assault would have been a foregone conclusion!

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