Me & the Missus are watching TV for the first time this weekend, Uninterrupted. We've done the 'Parent thing' all weekend, Yada Yada Yada...
(they're back under the stairs where they belong, like Harry Potter)
They've been "Can I have? I want! Gimme!" all weekend and finally I cracked..
I've decided it's all the wife's fault, so I says to her:
"Remember that memorable day BEFORE the kids... BEFORE we were married, BEFORE we were Engaged, BEFORE we lived together....? where I said to you 'that I'd be late home and if you wanted go to mine before I got home then HERE was a front door key' I got into my car, blew a kiss And drove off, to work..?"
She put her phone down, uttered "Yesssss?" and frowned at me...
I had a quick glance at my route of escape from my couch to the door.. Yep I could definitely make it out before she could get to me..
"Well... 'love'... Picture this 'alternate' scenario..."
"....I just drive off!"
(this post would have been longer, but I'm finding it hard to type with the tip of my nose while sucking up my dinner through a straw!)