Tuesday, March 01, 2016


Tuesday 1st. March 2016

just been to Hospital for my "Pre-Op", in readiness for knee operation on Saturday,
now... (and I wont go into details)

On arrival, I'm asked "Have you brought your urine sample?"
which I wasn't aware I needed to bring, to which a teeny, teeny, TINY bottle is shoved into my hand and I'm gestured towards the loo..
and (as you may know) I'm EXTREMELY Bladder shy.. Public toilets, Airplanes and Trains are Murder, cant squeeze out a drop if I know someone's within 50 feet of me,
so APPROXIMATELY an hour later, I manage to bring back hat can only be described as a 'tear-drop'

(thank god I wasnt at the fertility clinic!)

Pass this to the nurse, doing my checks, etc.. and then passed into another room, to be seen by someone else (I'd assumed the surgeon)
I sits in chair, next to door, when it WHISKS open (narrowly missing my head) to which the attendee goes into panic about, thinking she'd nearly killed me
I 'jokingly' said "ooh, where there's Blame there's a Claim"

<log silent stare>

"I was joking...."
(unfortunately I think that then set the tone for the remainder of the appointment)

All the way through checking my lungs, heart etc. (not quite sure why she asked me to bend, over though?? perhaps I went into the wrong room?!)
she then starts off on a Tirade of abuse about operations at the weekend (a mine is on Saturday)
how its raping the NHS of money, paying private surgeons to do weekend operations
etc etc etc
NOW... don't get me wrong, am absolutely in admiration of Doctors, Nurses and the British NHS and despise the government(s) that have ruined it for the last 20+ years,
its not MY fault that the operation is happening on Saturday, it was supposed to be a Friday?!?
once I explained this to her, she seemed to calm down
I then asked her "are you the surgeon that will be doing my knee?"
thankfully, she said No...

I had visions of her being mid-way through the procedure, really seeing her arse
and shouting "Power to the NHS!" while deftly cutting off my balls!"