Sunday, October 25, 2015

Brass Tacks..

Very, very DEEP breath & check ones trousers moment there..
Hanging pictures back up after our recent bout of re-decorating, and I just had a proper, PROPER "Shit myself" moment...

Up a ladder, hanging picture over stairs,

I had 4 brass tacks for the picture hanger.....

And due to this taking much longer than it should I sort of lost count of the brass tacks that I had IN MY MOUTH..

1 "tap tap"
2 "tap tap"
3 "tap tap"

4 err... Where's tack number 4
Panic set in...
Where the F*ck is tack number 4??

Convinced I'd swallowed it,
Who do you call??
who do I call first??
Panic, panic

Do I go to hospital, after they laugh (surely they've seen this before) what happens?
It's brass so it won't rust?
Do I have to have an operation?
Do I have to check my turds with a knife, fork & magnet for next week?

(Manly telly tubby moment running up & down stairs)
Start gagging Mark, cough, cough dammit!

How do you do a self "Heimlich"
What to do
What to do
Should I run to a neighbour?
No Mark, your 46 not 12!!

Then..... PHEW!!!!
There it is, Under tongue...
Deeeeeep breaths Mark, deep breaths...


Do I Sit down, or change trousers??

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