Friday, January 08, 2016

Dad... What ya doin??

Today's Markism:
(8th. January 2016)

So... Had been to the "loo" and just wrapping up (so to speak) albeit my trousers were still around my ankles, when my NEW glasses, decided to "Acapulco cliff dive" from my head, downwards towards the toilet..

Now (being an ex-navy seal) my stealth like reaction 'just' managed to divert the glasses from their impending dive into "soup" glancing them off the toilet rim,


Was my reaction...
However, it was shortlived, as from the corner of my eye, a tiny part of said glasses (one of the nose pads) dropped again, bounced around, then..


Straight Into the water...


Just as I was about to start reciting 'Shakespearinan Swearing For Dummies' I heard a teeny, tiny voice behind me..

"Dad?? What ya doin?"

I must have been a sight, stood there, Ass cheeks out, trousers round my ankles, swearing like a trooper and Glaring at the toilet....

(My 8 year old, probably scarred for life, and lined up for years of counselling)

Could have been worse, It's not like I was 'cracking one off or anything'

"Sorry Hun, Daddy needs some alone time, please go back downstairs"

So... I ask myself...
Are these New glasses THAT important to me, that I need to Violate my hand by "fishing" around in the soup that's in there....

Well, looking at the remaining nose pad, it would appear to be fairly proprietory, so I figure, I better had..

(Flash forwards)

Nose pad (and hand) cleaned etc
And put back into the glasses, but... 
Nope.. Won't stay in,
It's broke!!

"OH... FFS!!"

I've just left my daughter with a memory that will haunt her into her teens, disgusted myself by "toilet fishing" and the bloody glasses are STILL knackered!! 

What The Hell????

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