Bacon Butties?

Many years ago (again in the early days of the "Honeymoon Period" pre-marriage to the present Mrs. Eastham) I was up early (as I can never sleep in as the cats start yowling at about 7am - this is my two cats B*stard and Sh*thead!)

Now as a pre-cursor to this you need to know that I had laminate flooring all down stairs, a bright idea of mine that went wrong and annoyed me everyday I saw it, but it a godsend on account of the number of times I knock Coke over in the living room or the cats had yacked up!) and that I'm in my socks (thick 'slippy' sports ones) and just my dressing gown (you don't need me to explain any more)

So.... there I was when.... I heard a feint "ring ring".... now, at the time I heard it, my mobile had rung 3-4 times as it ascends in volume.....

I realised this and lunged myself from the chair, and through the kitchen door into the living room.... the next I remember I was being hurled backwards ontothe living room door, legs 'a-kimbo' onto my ass, and found myself suspended, upside down, from the door handle?? (I could just make this out through my thick, foggy, vision!)

THE DOOR HANDLE HAD GOT CAUGHT IN THE POCKET OF MY DRESSING GOWN!

Anyways, after a few seconds of circling stars and ducks rotating above my head I managed to CRAWL to my mobile at the bottom of the stairs to see the display of the person ringing as saying 'Home'......

Huh? I thought???? how can it be home.... then I answered it to find it was my stupid "then" girlfriend ringing from bedroom upstairs, to ask if she could have bacon butties for breakfast!

...I HUNG UP!

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