Log Rolls

(Around April 2002)

OK, having just moved into our new house, the Garden's were nothing but a loose covering of crap turf on an even crapper surface of crap, sand, more crap, clay and even more crap (with the occasional wooden pallet in there believe it or not!), so one of my tasks being the awesome gardener I am , was to make something of them. So I decided to dig beds aroung the edges, and to make the beds more evident and tidy, I decided I'd need some sort of borders to hold back the soil.... LOG ROLLS!

So off I trundled to Homebase, and out into the Garden section outside.... Aha! there they are, hundreds of them in different sizes, and colours... Perfect!

So having pondered which size and colour would go best, I started to load them into the shopping trolley, one at a time...

THEN IT HAPPENED!

just as I picked one up and raised it above my head to traverse through the odd columns of logging, neatly stacked 4 or 5 high, I felt the tickling sensation on my arm... .Huh?

With a look, I saw a terrantula crawling down my arm, surely coming to tuck into my neck or something... I say terrantula, and what I actually mean was something a little smaller, but equally as terrifying to someone like me who HATES spiders, and with that thought in mind, I had no alternative..

I threw the log roll down, and danced around waving my arms around like a demented chicken, screaming and squeeling like a friggin Telly-Tubby, meanwhile, and in slow motion, the flying log-roll just happened to hit one of the columns of other log rolls, which in turn hit another and another, until there were log's falling all over the place, and making a SH*T LOAD OF NOISE!

then silence, there I was half way up the garden center, with a scene of utter chaos and confusion left in my wake... without further adew, I spun around, and without a conspicuous bone in my body, slipped out of the garden center, and past the tills out into the car-park.

Hopefully they didn't get it on camera!