Sunday, April 10, 2011

Hair raising in the African Plains...

Ok.... to this day, my cousin (a mobile hairdresser) denies all knowledge of this event, but I'm sure she and my mother were there and did the deed (so to speak!).
As said above, my cousin was a hairdresser (to the young) and so was my mother (to the old and senile, the only people who'd let her near them), and this particular evening my cousin came around to do our hair and had an idea...
she said
"Lemme do something new with yours if you don't mind?"
"ok... such as.....what?"
"I'd like to put streaks in you hair if that'd be ok?"
"Sure... As long as I don't look like a ponce...? go for it!"

Now I've never had streaks before (and won't again!) and had no idea of the PAIN involved in having them done. First goes on the rubber cap, so I look like so sort of contraceptive (condom for the foreigners out there!). This being put on has got to be one of the most painful experiences of my life!

Once the cap is pulled on (and I can feel my head ache at the memory), out comes some tool that resembles a Spanish Inquisition torture implement, or more recently a shoe hook!, and they started to pluck my hair from INSIDE the cap, through the holes onto the outside (Again most painful!)

Once done and I resemble something out of the horror flick 'Hellraiser', they wrapped me up and started to paint this blue goo all over my head, which stunk!
Now, because of the smell, I was put to the back of the living room, and had a polythene bag wrapped around the offending ooze!
Problem (and where I made the fateful mistake) was that I was watching Coronation street, and because of the cap, I couldn't hear as it was flapped over my ears, so..... (EEK!) I pulled up the sides of the cap, to rest ontop of my ears so I could hear!

20+ minutes later (after Coronations street), the terrible duo returned to me and shrieked! "What have you done, and how long ago did you do it?"
"Huh... What?"
"The cap.... when did you do that to the cap, stupid!"
"I dunno? about 20 minutes ago.."

I was whisked up-stairs and my head shoved over the bath and under the shower head (minus the cap), and rinsed..... and rinsed.... and rinsed some more!

I stood up, was gawped at (possibly laughed at by my dad, nothing new there!) and turned around to see a HORRIFIC appearance in the bathroom mirror.... I had completely WHITE sides, and the strangest Zebra-like stripes in and around the rest of my head. (It hadn't gone well!)

Hmmm what I' d done, in pulling up the sides of the cap, was to pull the ooze (BLEACH) INSIDE the cap, and then squished it, when I put the cap sides back down, all of 20+ minutes ago!

"So... what the hell can I do now? I can't go to work like this, I'll get beaten up..."

My mom (ever ready and quick to act) drove to the nearest store on the main road, and came back with about 4 'blondish' colours, the nearest I could find to mine (so I thought..) was Strawberry Blonde, and we did it, and afterwards, it looked ok, so we thought!

alas.... EVERYONE at work spotted the offensive colours immediately andf I took to having my hair trimmed every week for the next month until it grew out!

Not the best time of my life!


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