Monday, April 04, 2011

To DVD or not to DVD

Well.... I bought a DVD off my girlfriends cousin a few year ago, this is long before Multi-region/DivX players were available off the shelf at ASDA, just bog-basic, 'Phillips' and then once I started hearing about 'chipping' to allow play of multi-region DVD's (i.e. not normally playable in UK, but a SHIT LOAD CHEAPER to buy) I though... "Hmmmmm I'm gonna have some of that!", well about this time I changed jobs, and one of my colleagues told me of a web site where you could buy the kit to for it and Do It Yourself!!

Aha...., the kit is about £35, whereas to send it off and have it done is about £70, No Problem!

Anyway, I order the kit, and 3 days later Parcel force delivered my kit... so immediately, off to the kitchen table, dismantle the DVD and remove the lid, now this was my first shock and it's where I should have stopped... the Circuit board inside the DVD was like 8 inches square (If that) and the chips on it were like ridiculously small compared to the photocopied instructions, however... never one to give up (straight away anyway, usually after about 10 minutes) so out to the shed, obtained my trusty soldering iron and away I went...

Well some hours later, I'd soldered MOST of the pins to where they should be, as well as Soldering my Thigh, and Fingers, and making lots of pretty Scorch marks on the kitchen table, but I progressed, and eventually came to the last two solder points which when I found them almost made me cry; They were INCREDIBLY SMALL.

OK, Deep breath, I'm the Solder king, I can cope with anything

First solder, ok.... TICK!

Next solder.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo! OH BOLLOCKS! I managed to drop a splodge of liquid solder onto 3 PINS,


ok.... not a problem, just re-put the soldering iron over the top, and get my fancy extractorig solder tool to hand, Now for those of you who haven;t done much soldering (including ME!), my ACME Proffessional Soldering kit (purchased for me by my mom as some sick joke I suspect) came with a tool which is almost like a hydraulic syringe, and the purpose of this tool is exactly for cock-ups like this; the idea is that you heat the bad solder until it liquifies, and then press the button on the tool and it SUCKS the excess solder up, alas, this is Me we're talking about here, and it didn't..... so I reverted to plan B, that was to use a kitchen knife and just cut between the spooled solder to separate the legs on the chip I'd just Blobbed... and that seemed to work (well... I hadn't turned the DVD on yet!)

Re-did the last bit of soldering and voila... time to test..... so on with the lid, in with all the 467 screws etc.... into the living room, make sure all the connections are nice and tight, switch on the TV, sit back on the couch (SMUGLY) and press the remote button , .......long pause......


"Err...." I could just about vaguely (if I squinted) see the normally fancy DVD intro screen amongst the BRIGHT WHITE MESS!


Pressed the Remote button again, to turn the DVD off, and NOTHING! (The remote had no effect) "Ah!... ok...."

So I rechecked all the cables, hoping that the 'Get me out of the F*cking Shit, Elves & Pixies' might be at the back of the TV and by the Grace of God, NOT have me Shagged the DVD up....

Re-switch the DVD on Manually from the front of the DVD, again, WHITE SCREEN, "Oh Fuckity, Fuckity, Fuckity Fuck!"

Even pressing the Eject button on the DVD had no effect (Now this is the part, where I started to break wind alot, as I suddenly had this vision of all my relatives laughing at me as I show them the new DVD Paper-Weight, as that was all it would be useful for!)

"OK.... Don't panic Mr. Mannering" , just remove the lid, and take the new kit off and get it back to how it was before"

So.... I did, all the wires removed, lid back on, Switch on and...........................Yep! you guessed it, BRIGHT WHITE SCREEN

At this point I may have passed out, I seem to recall waking up as my girlfriend (who had decided to rise out of bed) was stepping over my limp body with some comment like "You Bollox'd the DVD yet?"

"Me.... Nah, not started it yet!"

Anyway, to cut a long story short, some months later, I decided to pay someone to repair it (who no doubt had a laugh) and bought another one (already chipped)

Just another example of a Job, I don't do very well!

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