Monday, April 04, 2011

I'm a Double'Ard Navy Seal B@stard

Some years ago after moving into our house, which was a new build at the time, and one of only a handful that had people living in them at the time, we had a splurge of Burglaries, and our neighbour had literally had their Garage done a few nights before...

To cut a long story short, our cats 'B@stard and Sh*tHead' had been causing choas with the alarms in our house and the inept group of people who installed it/built the house (whoever it was - ahem! - and shall remain nameless for now!) had to come back numerous times to sort out the PIR's, so the Alarm going off yet-again in the middle of the night, didn't surprise us... that was until arriving at the Alarm panel, I noticed that the zone that had been triggered wasn't the usual places...... but.... IN THE GARAGE...

So, picture this (or not if your squeemish)

Me, in my undies (and little else & I wasnt at my best) stood on the hallway side of the door that led into the garage from inside the house, KNOWING that someone was in the garage, on the other side of this door, and to make matters worse, the light for the garage was INSIDE the garage, so I'd have to open the door (quickly), switch on the light and hopefully not have my bloody head smashed in by the Druggy or Thieving Pikey b@stard that was ransacking the garage.

I needed a weapon.... quick look around (time being the essence), and all I had to hand was an electrical screwdriver, all 4 inches of it (screwdriver I'm talking about!)

Long deep breath, trying to NOT piss myself (the Adrenalin not helping in that matter), whipped open the door, switched on the light, jumped in shouting something stupid like 'Hah!' to find the garage door open, and boxes littered everywhere...

Thankfully, no burgler was around, and a Bloody good job too - I'd have set about him like a Baboon on a Toffee Apple!

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