Sunday, April 10, 2011

Try that Monkey Sh*t with me and see what happens!?

Many years ago (I'd be around 15-16), I started doing Karate with a mate of mine (Mikey), and we'd only been doing it for a few months when we progressed from the default 'White' belt up to the next stage 'Yellow' (still no feat, but at least we we're Karate Virgins any more), and I started to get a little cocky; that and perhaps the fact that I think I'd sprouted an inch over my brother so I felt SUPER-CONFIDENT, and as such we squabbled somewhat.

Now on this particular occasion we were in the kitchen, washing/wiping up the post I suspect, and a ruccas started. For some reason I decided to Karate punch my brother in the chest or somewhere near and after his recovery (and my possible bouncing around Rocky style with arms upward pointing, and listening to the Virtual Cheers going off in my head) my brother decided to challenge me to do it again, but HARDER...

"You taking the P*ss right?" I asked, "You just got over my last punch!"
"Go ahead, Monkey D*ck... try that sh*t again!" < was the sort of reply I got >

so.... I built up and built up (visions of Karate Kid in my head!), flexed back, breathed in through the nose ready to deliver a punch that he'd wake up surrounded with a Chalk Outline...

....and shot my "fist of death" forwards like a cannon!

a flash of movement from my brother and then a resounding


sound rung through the air almost as fast as I hit the floor in complete agony...

My b@stard brother had set me up and as I thrust my fist towards him, he swung a kitchen pan from behind his back and downwards and across my knuckles...

To this day, I still think he actually broke my fingers! which amongst other things probably affected my sex life for months!


No comments: